How I Make Tandem Nursing a Toddler and Newborn Work

I never planned on nursing two babies at the same time. But it turned out to be one of the most rewarding experiences of my life.

Tandem nursing illo
Emma Darvick.

Tandem nursing is not something I ever planned to do, but then I found myself pregnant for the third time soon after my second. Like many lactating parents, I found the decision of whether to continue my breastfeeding journey with my older child or wean before the arrival of the baby a difficult one.

I wavered back and forth, but my pregnancy flew by (as they seem to with each subsequent child). I continued to nurse my toddler, who didn't seem to have any interest in weaning despite the change in taste, decline in supply, and growing belly getting in the way.

Before I knew it, my newborn was at one breast, my toddler was at the other, and I was tandem breastfeeding. I've since gone on to tandem-nurse my third and fourth together and discovered that tandem nursing can be an incredibly positive and rewarding experience for both myself and my children.

If you have children close in age or find yourself pregnant and not quite ready to wean your nursing child, you may be considering tandem nursing. Here is everything I learned about nursing siblings simultaneously.

What Is Tandem Nursing?

Tandem nursing is breastfeeding or chestfeeding more than one child during the same period of time—in my case, nursing a toddler and newborn baby. This can be at the same time or one after the other. Choose what works best for you!

There's a misconception that once you are pregnant, you must stop breastfeeding for the health of yourself and/or your unborn baby. However, according to the American Academy of Family Physicians (AAFP), if the parent and pregnancy are healthy, then tandem breastfeeding is a personal choice. Speak with your doctor and take it from there.

Breast Milk Nutrition While Tandem Nursing

One question many parents will ask when considering if tandem nursing is right for them is whether or not tandem nursing will affect the nutritional value of their milk, especially for a newborn. Research shows that the human body is able to adapt to include the nutrient requirements of both a newborn and a toddler, making tandem nursing a safe method of feeding.

Breastfeeding or chestfeeding through pregnancy and continuing on to tandem nursing is physically demanding. "Both pregnancy and breastfeeding are going to require increased calories, nutrition, and hydration. On average, breastfeeding requires an additional 500 calories per day, and pregnancy an additional 300 calories," Christine Sterling, MD, a board-certified OB-GYN based in San Diego.

"You will need to take prenatal vitamins and eat a diet rich in whole grains, good fats, vibrantly colored vegetables, and protein. You will also need to take in at least 2.5 liters of fluid a day to meet the demands of pregnancy and lactation," she adds.

Benefits of Tandem Nursing

There are a variety of benefits of tandem nursing, including the following.

Increases milk supply

Generally, the more milk removed, the more will be produced, so those who tandem-nurse can make twice as much milk to accommodate feeding two children.

“Because both breasts are being emptied simultaneously while tandem nursing, it is likely that [people] who tandem-feed will have an increased or oversupply of breast milk,” says Krystal Duhaney, RN, an international board-certified lactation consultant and owner of Milky Mama, a product line for lactating parents.

“It’s also common for both the toddler and newborn to want to nurse at separate times throughout the day, which is likely more frequently than if only nursing one baby. This added stimulation also triggers more milk production,” she adds.

As for me, my milk was in within 12 hours after my baby was born, helping my newborn gain weight quickly and sleep for longer stretches.

Reduces engorgement and plugged ducts

My toddler helped to relieve engorgement, making it easier for my newborn to latch afterward without dealing with a fast letdown. If I ever felt a plugged duct coming on, I would make sure that my toddler nursed on that side to reduce the risk of it turning into mastitis.

Mastitis is a condition when a breast duct becomes plugged, preventing the milk from properly flowing and giving bacteria the opportunity to grow, causing infection. Treatment often includes a warm compress, pumping or increased feeding, pain medication, and sometimes antibiotics. Signs of mastitis include:

  • Swelling
  • Redness
  • Burning sensation or pain
  • Fever
  • Flu-like symptoms

Talk to your doctor if you suspect you have mastitis.

May promote sibling bonding

Tandem nursing may promote sibling bonding by helping the older child psychologically transition from being an only child to an older sibling. The reason? “It can sometimes be difficult for a toddler to adjust to a new baby in the family. Tandem nursing can help ease the transition and promote sibling bonding by giving them an activity they can participate in together,” says Duhaney.

That was the case for my toddler. Instead of trying to distract him during those marathon feedings in the first couple of weeks, he was able to participate and feel included. Nothing compares to the feeling of watching my older child rub the baby's back or hold his hand across my chest while nursing.

It’s also not uncommon for a toddler who has previously weaned to want to nurse again after seeing their parent nursing the new baby of the house. “If [you're] comfortable with this, it can be a wonderful bonding experience for the three of you,” adds Duhaney.

Courtesy of Isobel Benesch
Isobel Benesch and her children. Courtesy of Isobel Benesch.

Tandem Nursing Positions

You may be wondering how to tandem breastfeed. It may feel like a daunting task at first, but with a little bit of experimentation, patience, and empathy, you'll find your groove pretty quickly. Here are some positions to help you get you started nursing a baby and toddler at the same time:

  • Double football hold: The football hold is when you support your baby's shoulders and head using your arm and hand while they nurse. Your baby's body is pointed away and behind you as if you're holding a football under your arm. This position is especially helpful if you are recovering from a cesarean section.
  • Double cradle hold: Lay one baby across your abdomen and have them latch on. Then lay your other baby across your abdomen—spooning your first baby—and have them latch on to the other breast.
  • Upright or Australian hold: While sitting upright, position your babies to sit upright on your lap, facing your breasts. This position may work best when your baby has head control and can manage sitting up with little help.
  • Mixing positions: Experiment with positions that feel the most comfortable for you and your babies. Once your youngest has good head control, you may find that more position options will emerge.

Tips for Tandem Nursing Success

If you think tandem nursing may be an ideal option for you and your family, there are a few tips that can help make your journey easier. Talk to your doctor about questions and concerns you may have, and be prepared to experiment with everything from positions to feeding schedules while you find what works best.

Let your newborn nurse first

The first stage of human milk is colostrum, which is a thick fluid that is packed with protein and antibodies that are beneficial to the newborn—this will change to mature milk that has more fat and carbohydrates to help support a growing baby.

I always let my baby nurse from the fullest breast first and offered my toddler the same breast afterward. After the first week or so, when the milk comes in, that's not as important. But you always want to ensure your growing baby is getting enough to eat since milk is their only source of food.

Be prepared for increased toddler nursing

Even if your toddler only nurses once or twice a day throughout your pregnancy, you may find that after the baby arrives, your toddler is interested in nursing every time the baby latches (hello, milk!). This can be overwhelming, especially as you are adjusting to life with a newborn and dealing with lack of sleep, hormonal changes, and postpartum recovery. However, I learned a toddler's increased feedings are only a transitional behavior.

Have empathy

The transition to a new baby in the house is a highly emotional experience for everyone, but even more so for a toddler who might not fully understand what is happening. When it comes to tandem nursing, your toddler suddenly needs to learn to wait as the baby latches, take turns with sides, and share something that was once only theirs. In moments when I felt overwhelmed, I always tried to be empathetic with my toddler (and myself!).

Take care of yourself

Tandem nursing is a lot of work, not only physically but also emotionally. There were definitely days during the postpartum period when my hormones were rebalancing, and I felt “touched out” and irritated. Tandem nursing was sometimes far from the peaceful vision I had imagined.

Tandem nursing can be a beautiful experience, says Dr. Sterling, but it is important to note that this puts the nursing parent in high demand both physically and emotionally. “If you want to tandem-feed, do it, but you must attend to your needs as well. This means prioritizing the basics—sleep, nutrition, and hydration," she adds. "A [parent's] well-being is more important to the well-being of [their] children than [their] breast milk."

My reprieve during times of frustration in my tandem nursing journey was to first let my husband know how I was feeling (although he could usually tell without me saying anything) and then spend some moments of solitude on the beach.

When time wasn’t a luxury, sometimes even spending five minutes taking a hot shower really helped. When my husband wasn’t home to help, I’d take time out from my daily routine with the kids to take a deep breath and make myself a cup of coffee, put on some of my favorite music, or read a short blog post. Taking even those little moments to myself left me feeling refreshed and relaxed.

Key Takeaways

Tandem nursing can be a special experience for you and your babies, but it is not without challenges. By approaching tandem nursing with patience and empathy—for yourself and the process—you may soon find your groove. Talk to your health care provider if you have questions or concerns.

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Sources
Parents uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read our editorial process to learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.
  1. Breastfeeding, Family Physicians Supporting (Position Paper). American Academy of Family Physicians. 2023.

  2. Tandem Breastfeeding: A Descriptive Analysis of the Nutritional Value of Milk When Feeding a Younger and Older Child. Nutrients. 2021

  3. The Relationship Between Perceived Milk Supply and Exclusive Breastfeeding During the First Six Months Postpartum: A Cross-Sectional Study. International Breastfeeding Journal. 2020.

  4. Mastitis. American Academy of Pediatrics. 2009.

  5. Anatomy, Colostrum. StatPearls. 2023.

  6. The Effects of the New Baby on the Older Sibling. Ankara Medical Journal. 2018.

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