your mothering style
Learn the strengths and weaknesses of your parenting style to prepare for the challenges ahead
You’re determined to avoid every parent’s worst missteps while repeating their successes. So what kind of mother will you be? Take our quiz, developed with Gayle Peterson, Ph.D., a therapist in private practice in Berkeley, Calif., and the author of Making Healthy Families (Shadow and Light Publications, 2000),
for hints about your style and tips on relating to your child.
1 You’re in the home stretch of your pregnancy, four weeks from your due date. At this point:
a> You’ve devoured everything your library and bookstore offer on infant development and fret that the nursery you’ve created isn’t stimulating enough.
b> You haven’t read much but figure you’ll deal with things as they come.
c> You’ve read enough on babyhood to give you a foundation from which to build but also realize you’re going to have to wing it sometimes and rely on your instincts.
2 Your next-door neighbor tells you she’s getting divorced. You:
a> Start inviting her to dinner every night so she won’t be alone.
b> Offer her a hug and a shoulder to cry on.
c> Pop a Hallmark card in her mailbox.
3 While riding the elevator, you spy another pregnant woman. You:
a> Avoid eye contact. You don’t want to attract her attention.
b> Smile and ask when she’s due.
c> Push the stop button, then bombard her with questions, comparing the details of your pregnancies.
4 Your co-worker is The chairman of a local charity and keeps asking you to help out. you:
a> Agree to pitch in when you can fit it into
b> Say yes every time, even if it means you rarely get to your aerobics class.
c> Volunteer for tasks that will enhance your résumé, no matter the commitment.
5 You leave town for a long-overdue week of vacation. While you’re away, you:
a> Take your briefcase—you plan to work.
b> Leave your cell phone number with your trusted
assistant for emergencies only. You’re confident you’ve left things in good order and realize the office will survive
c> Call in at least twice a day—just in case someone needs you for something.
6 In the first year after the baby comes, you and your partner will probably:
a> Hang out with the baby as much as possible; spending quality time with your child always comes first.
b> Continue doing things the way you always have.
c> Make a point to have a date once or twice a month—it’s important to keep your relationship strong.
7 Your relationship with your mother is best described as:
a> Distant. You’ve been drifting apart for years but don’t exactly know why.