generation gap

How to handle well-meaning parents and in-laws

solution Explain to your father-in-law that it’s a financial necessity, emphasizing that this was a difficult decision reached only after careful consideration. “The United States is behind most developed countries in paid maternity leave, forcing mothers to separate from their babies sooner than what is generally considered optimal for breastfeeding and bonding,” Stein says. Of course, you could dare him to put his money where his mouth is so you would not have to return to work—but that’s probably not going to help build a better rapport with him! ((Problem)) Both my parents and my in-laws constantly offer to babysit our 5-month-old son, who is the first grandchild on both sides of the family. Right now, my husband and I want to be with our baby and don’t want to leave him with anyone else for long stretches. How can we get them to take “no” for an answer? solution “It’s obvious that they are excited about being grandparents, so be patient,” Peterson says. Explain to your family members that this is simply a timing issue and that you are in no way trying to exclude them. “You just aren’t ready,” Peterson adds. “This is not an unusual conflict and will resolve in time.” In the meantime: >Have your husband take the lead in dealing with your in-laws, while you speak with your folks. >Expect to repeat your message often, letting them know that when your son is a little older, you’ll be thrilled to take a night off and will by all means welcome their offers to babysit. >Find other ways to involve the grandparents. Invite them to your house on weekends to be with you as a family, or ask them to join you on family outings to the park or beach.