Chicken and Egg
Week 39: 5.5.08
It's hard to say what came first. We heard about the hard, scary things that some of our family members are dealing with right as the weather did a 180, turning cold and wet, and I succumbed to a spring cold, complete with sore throat, headache and lousy-no-good-thoughts. Maybe this is a natural state to be in after the relief and exhaustion that followed Aaron's very successful show last weekend. And probably most women feel disheartened when they haven't seen their feet in weeks and nothing fits, not even their skin.
I certainly was happy at Aaron's show, and delighted with the baby for staying put so conveniently, yet right now, I'm...nonplussed. Suddenly, our happily anticipated event is joined by everyday--and out of the ordinary--worries about the health and happiness of our loved ones. And if I go into labor now I'll be embarking on the project from a tired, sick, worried starting point, which hardly seems ideal.
Hatching a Plan
We can't run out of town to be with our family, no matter how much we'd like to, because we're busy sitting on our egg, as it were. But I guess we can nest. Today I bought a bunch of Middle Eastern spinach pies to freeze. As I was leaving, the guy at Damascus Bakery volunteered some encouraging words: "you're almost there! you're getting ready!"
It's true, I finally got through the laundry, posted all my thank you notes, and found a pediatrician who seems like the perfect mix of kind, calm and careful. While I was out this morning I also bought some parenting and breastfeeding books. But ready? Not sure about that. As I lie around today producing little more than a pile of used Kleenex, it's the childbirth books that I'm reading. I don't know how much I'll actually think about the stages of labor when I'm in it, but in a world where the future seems daunting, I feel like arming myself with more knowledge about what I'm about to face. I can't quite bring myself to look beyond the birth to the life of parenting that awaits us.
Being sick reminds me that it's important to stay rested, hydrated and nourished. So I guess the gloomy weather just helps with that plan. I may as well stay home folding onesies and making soup. The fridge looks a bit bare lately (could this be because I eat every few hours? or because I keep freezing everything?) but soup is almost always possible. And for now, I need to just focus on the possible.
Recipe: Lettuce and Orzo Soup