Belly Laughs | Fit Pregnancy

Belly Laughs

Jenny McCarthy gives her unvarnished take on pregnancy.

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Tell us about your upcoming series.
It’s called Honey Vicarro and is an update of the ’60s show called Honey West about a female private investigator. Sort of Austin Powers meets The Mod Squad.

You’re having a boy. Are you nervous about your son one day finding out that his mommy was a Playboy centerfold?
I’m completely weirded out by the thought! I guess I could break it to him when he’s 18, but by that time, he’ll probably have figured it out.

Do you have any whacked-out fears about being a mother?  
It’s more about the delivery. I have a huge fear of poo-ing on the table. I’ve asked 15 women and they all say, “Oh, yeah. I did that.” OK, so why does no one talk about this issue?

It’s the missing chapter in What to Expect When You’re Expecting … Have you had any strange baby dreams?
I want to meet my son so badly that I keep dreaming that I pull him out of my stomach, play with him, and then put him back. When I wake up, I feel super-happy, because it feels like I’ve played with my baby.

Are you worried about getting back into shape?
To be honest, I’m worried about my vagina going back to normal. Does it just snap back, or what? I know the Kegel exercises are supposed to help, but I hate doing them. And of course I want the rest of my body back in shape because I still want my husband thinking I’m the world’s cutest girl.

On the subject of bodies, you rather famously had your breast implants taken out not too long ago.
Actually, I took them out and put smaller ones in—otherwise I would have had zucchinis. My doctor said, “Your boobs are going to be to your knees.” Now that I’m pregnant, they’re back to being the biggest jugs ever. I  weighed them on a scale, and each was a little over 5 pounds. So that’s 11 pounds just in my boobs.

You lifted your bathroom scale up on the counter?
It was a food scale. But I had to know. They were so heavy and I was just crying having to carry them around the house!

Boobs, vaginas. We’ve covered the important topics.
Honesty is important. Before the next baby, I’d love to do an honest, open book on pregnancy—with a chapter called “Poo-ing on the Table.” I think women would love it!

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