Was that a problem for you and your wife?
Kevin F.: She was a little ahead of where I was in seeing the baby as real, as part of the family. We didn’t have conflicts about it, but I was thinking, “Shouldn’t this be more real for me?” In some way, I don’t think the reality sets in until you see that head coming out.
Has your lifestyle changed a whole lot during the pregnancy or when the baby came? Are you missing out on things that you used to enjoy?
Don: We’d traveled a lot already and done a lot of things—what we were missing out on was having a family.
Kevin F.: I found myself thinking about things like money and investments, education IRAs. We’d go out for breakfast and I wouldn’t order coffee, and I’d think, “All right! A dollar-fifty in the college fund!”
Kevin D.: With work and everything, it seems like I’m always fighting for free time now, and I wonder how much time there’ll be once we have a baby. But as far as going out and partying or anything, that’s not really us.
Billy: Yeah, our Friday and Saturday nights were usually Blockbuster videos and a pizza. We’ve never been party animals.
Hey, I’ve got another full pitcher here. Anyone for a refill? [Beer mugs are thrust forward simultaneously.] What’s the one thing you’re looking forward to most about being a dad, or what were you looking forward to before you became one?
Keith: Being a kid again—playing catch, making snow angels, throwing snowballs, doing silly kid stuff.
Kevin D.: I know what you mean—like re-experiencing your childhood through your own child’s eyes.
Kevin F.: Through your own father’s eyes, too. Becoming a father really helps to clarify your relationship with your own dad.
Kevin F.: In my earliest memories, my father seemed really old, but he was about the same age I am now. And to me, he was like a god. It’s a humbling thought — how am I going to be worthy of the trust and affection my son puts in me?
Billy: It’s a rite of passage, understanding your own place in the world.