The early weeks of pregnancy are fragile—and confusing. Here, the answers to your questions.
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Was that a problem for you and your wife?
Kevin F. She was a little ahead of where I was in seeing the baby as real, as part of the family. We didn’t have conflicts about it, but I was thinking, “Shouldn’t this be more real for me?” In some way, I don’t think the reality sets in until you see that head coming out.
Has your lifestyle changed a whole lot during the pregnancy or when the baby came? Are you missing out on things that you used to enjoy?
Don We’d traveled a lot already and done a lot of things — what we were missing out on was having a family.
Kevin F. I found myself thinking about things like money and investments, education IRAs. We’d go out for breakfast and I wouldn’t order coffee, and I’d think, “All right! A dollar-fifty in the college fund!”
Kevin D. With work and everything, it seems like I’m always fighting for free time now, and I wonder how much time there’ll be once we have a baby. But as far as going out and partying or anything, that’s not really us.
Billy Yeah, our Friday and Saturday nights were usually Blockbuster videos and a pizza. We’ve never been party animals.
Hey, I’ve got another full pitcher here. Anyone for a refill? [Beer mugs are thrust forward simultaneously.] What’s the one thing you’re looking forward to most about being a dad, or what were you looking forward to before you became one?
Keith Being a kid again — playing catch, making snow angels, throwing snowballs, doing silly kid stuff.
Kevin D. I know what you mean — like re-experiencing your childhood through your own child’s eyes.
Kevin F. Through your own father’s eyes, too. Becoming a father really helps to clarify your relationship with your own dad.
Kevin F. In my earliest memories, my father seemed really old, but he was about the same age I am now. And to me, he was like a god. It’s a humbling thought — how am I going to be worthy of the trust and affection my son puts in me?
Billy It’s a rite of passage, understanding your own place in the world.
What about your relationship with your wife? You’re really close during the pregnancy and delivery, but all of a sudden, there’s a baby with needs to be met.