The early weeks of pregnancy are fragile—and confusing. Here, the answers to your questions.
Read more »
“The big challenge for me is asking for help.” Margaret Lynch, Los Angeles
I was shocked when I found I was pregnant at the age of 42. While I had always wanted to have children, I had spent the last few years rethinking my life without them. When I went to the doctor to confirm the pregnancy, he said if I had ever wanted to have children, I should consider having this baby because of my age. It was quite a statement, but I did want to have a baby, so I let nature take its course.
I told my family when I was four months pregnant and the response was very positive. (The father knows, but is not a regular part of our lives.) I was anxious because I wasn’t sure how I was going to do it alone, both financially and emotionally. When there is not a permanent partner in the picture, despite the help of friends and family, you ultimately feel that you are on your own. I also lost my job when I was 31 weeks pregnant, which added more stress.
I am an independent person, and it’s difficult for me to ask for help. With my pregnancy, and now having a baby, I realize I have limits and that I do need to ask for help. I asked one of my friends to take my birthing class with me, and my mom offered to come for the birth and to help after the baby was born.
I wanted to deliver vaginally, but the baby wasn’t moving into position and my doctor recommended a Cesarean section. My daughter, Molly, was born healthy at 8 pounds. My advice for single moms: Think about the other parts of your life where you have been successful doing things on your own and draw strength from that.