How Grandma, Friends, Nurses, Doulas and Labor Support Members can Support Dad:
4. Don’t hog his spotlight.
This happens too often. All the ladies in Mom’s life are so eager to be “the one” who provides the ultimate support they shove dad out of the way. I get it. Women understand what women need and if they’ve been through labor, they know what works. BUT – he’s the dad, it’s his baby and he deserves to be “the one,” unless he and Mom have decided he’s not “it.” When dad is supported, he does a better job than anybody else of supporting Mom and welcoming his own child. Consider it an extension of the intimacy that created that baby in the first place.
5. He has physical needs, too.
Dad’s providing labor support get hungry, thirsty, tired and have to pee. Designate someone to spell him so he can take care of his own biology so he doesn’t faint or fall apart.
6. He’s totally stressed out.
Nothing’s harder on a guy than to see the woman he loves in pain and being helpless to make the pain stop. That leads some guys to make demands on their wife and staff they really don’t need to make, like insisting on an epidural or pain medication that mom might not really want. Stress also causes some guys to check out or be clueless about how to be supportive. Sometimes, all dad needs is someone to provide them a little reassurance that everything’s OK.
Jeanne Faulkner, R.N., lives in Portland, Ore., with her husband and children. And co-author of, The Complete Illustrated Birthing Companion: A Step-by-Step Guide to Creating the Best Birthing Plan for a Safe, Less Painful, and Successful Delivery for You and Your Baby.
Got a question for Jeanne? Email it to firstname.lastname@example.org and it may be answered in a future blog post.
This Fit Pregnancy blog is intended for educational purposes only. It is not intended to replace medical advice from your physician. Before initiating any exercise program, diet or treatment provided by Fit Pregnancy, you should seek medical advice from your primary caregiver.