Feeling frenzied all the time can take a toll on your fertility. Here’s how you can chillax and boost your odds of baby-making success.
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Week 29 Wash and fold baby clothes. Coo uncontrollably.
Week 32 Exercise to big-band music. Baby does drum solo.
Week 34 Study book of 10,000 baby names. Discover that Cameron means “crooked nose.”
Week 36 Baby’s head is “zero station” (right at the cervix). OB predicts early delivery. Pack hospital bag, stash in car trunk. Install infant car seat.
Week 37 One centimeter dilated! Prepare lasagna.
Week 38 Two centimeters dilated, 70 percent effaced! Could go tonight … then again, maybe tomorrow. Clean spice rack.
Week 40 Four centimeters dilated, 100 percent effaced. Clean windows.
One day past due date Now entering fourth trimester. Feel 11 months pregnant.
Three days later Answer 14 phone calls that begin, “You’re still there?!” Scrub top of fridge.
Six days later OB wants to induce. Walk around like penguin in heat. Girlfriend Della says shepherd’s pie brought on her labor. Eat shepherd’s pie.
Eight days later Water breaks. Five hours later, Benjamin Stephen is born. Three-year-old Nicholas meets his new brother. “Shhhh!” he whispers. “Baby brother is sleeping! Let’s go to Ben & Jerry’s!”