Babies Newborn Care 7 Ways to Get in the Mood for Pregnancy Sex Not feeling like having sex now that you're pregnant? While this is perfectly normal, there are benefits to pregnancy sex. Here, experts share their tips for getting in the mood. By Melissa Willets Updated on June 24, 2023 Medically reviewed by Yamel Belen, R.N., IBCLC Trending Videos Close this video player Juice Images/Getty Images Feeling exhausted, queasy, and uncomfortable in your ever-changing body isn't exactly a recipe for romance. ("Not tonight, honey, I've got to throw up!") And even if pregnancy symptoms aren't getting you down, you just plain might not want sex while pregnant, which is common and normal. But the physical changes of pregnancy can also set the stage for amazing sex. Increased blood flow lends itself to spectacular sensitivity in all the erogenous zones. "Just about everything is more sensitive—lips, vagina, clitoris, and breasts," says sex educator Lou Paget, author of Hot Mamas: The Ultimate Guide To Staying Sexy Throughout Your Pregnancy and the Months Beyond. Another bonus? For some couples, connecting through sex during pregnancy can help boost intimacy and connectedness, which can bring them closer and may even help maintain a healthy pregnancy. "Pregnant [people] with strong healthy relationships lead to healthier behaviors during pregnancy and better birth outcomes," explains Brett Worly, M.D., an OB-GYN and female sexual dysfunction expert at The Ohio State University Wexner Medical Center Columbus. New York City-based sex therapist Madeleine Castellanos, M.D., adds that intimacy helps provide feelings of happiness, pleasure, closeness, and vitality. If you're wondering how to get in the mood while pregnant, keep reading to find out what the experts say about taking advantage of everything pregnancy has to offer in the bedroom. 10 Reasons to Keep Having Sex While You're Pregnant Take It Slow If you're feeling anxious about pregnancy sex, don't sweat it. Pregnancy is not a time to put the pressure on when it comes to sex, Dr. Worly says. "Increasing desire and emotional connection can be really helpful in any person and at any time, and pregnancy is no exception." He recommends reading books such as Rekindling Desire or Passionate Marriage for some great tips. Then, try focusing on what gives pleasure, be it a foot massage (which increases oxytocin and arousal) or masturbation. Creating a safe and positive atmosphere for you both is the first step in getting in the mood. And if those pregnancy symptoms strike instead of a sexy mood? No problem, just try again another time. Take Advantage of Your Second Trimester During pregnancy, sex may come to a grinding halt, especially at first. People are often much less amorous during their first trimester simply because they just don't feel well, says Dr. Castellanos. The good news? Many pregnant people feel better during the second trimester, so it's worth getting in as much as you can during those three months since the third trimester brings further obstacles (hello, huge bump!). Some pregnant people may find that getting in the mood for sex during the second trimester is super easy, thanks to a respite from all those first-trimester symptoms like morning sickness and fatigue. But if you're worried about having "too much" sex during the second trimester, remember that a healthy, typical pregnancy won't be harmed by sex (even a lot of it!). 8 Questions About Pregnancy Sex, Answered Stop Worrying That Sex Will Hurt the Baby Impediments to intercourse are often more than just physical. "Body parts that were usually used mostly for sexual intimacy now have implications beyond that role [during and after pregnancy]," Dr. Worly explains. You may also worry (albeit unnecessarily) that intercourse will harm the baby. "The design of a [pregnant person's] body is such that a baby is well protected in the uterus during pregnancy," Dr. Castellanos reassures. Because of the cervix, nothing that goes inside the vagina whether it's a penis, finger, or toy can touch the baby, she adds. "I recommend that partners focus on what is most erotic for them in order to fill their mind with sexy thoughts rather than anxious thoughts that will keep them disconnected from their own arousal," she says. Is Sex During Pregnancy Safe? Get Rid of Distractions in the Bedroom Ditching distracting technology from the bedroom can help boost your one-to-one time. After all, physical intimacy can grow out of an emotional connection, Dr. Worly says. Aim for 30 to 60 minutes a day to connect with your partner in an uninterrupted, screen-free zone—and not just for sex! If your goal is to foster sexual intimacy and emotional connectedness, make sure that your bedroom is distraction-free. Here are a few tips: Ditch the screens (that means no phones, tablets, TVs, or computers in the bedroom to distract you).Create a comfortable space by tidying up and making your room feel inviting to you.Experiment with lighting or music to set a romantic mood. Lean Into Erotic Thoughts and Talk Thinking and talking about sex—even when you're not in the middle of it—will keep you in the right frame of mind when you are. "It's vital that couples create space for the erotic in their lives, both with time set aside for sex and closeness, as well as with mental attention devoted to positive thoughts about sex," Dr. Castellanos says. As cheeky as it may sound, research has shown that couples who think dirty thoughts and use them in erotic talk have higher rates of sexual self-esteem and more satisfying sex lives. In other words, try talking dirty to each other to help get you in the mood. 7 Ways Your Vagina Changes During Pregnancy Use Pregnancy-Safe Lube Pregnancy hormones can cause vaginal dryness, according to Dr. Castellanos. "When couples are ready for intimacy, using a lubricant will help make things more pleasurable and erotic," she says. Look for water-based lubes that use pregnancy-safe ingredients. A few ingredients you'll want to avoid include: Sugars and flavors, which can increase the likelihood of a yeast infection.Fragrances and known allergens can lead to a reaction.Chemicals and additives, especially those that heat up or cool down sensitive skin, can have adverse reactions in the vagina. Find the Right Position for Pregnancy Sex Be sure to find a comfortable position for sex—and getting creative with pillows helps! You may find that what works well in the first and even second trimesters may be less accessible in the third. Pregnant person on top, rear-entry positions like doggy style, and side-lying are all great options when the bump is starting to get in the way. Don't be afraid to experiment to find what feels good for both of you. Key Takeaways Sometimes it can feel impossible to know how to get in the mood while pregnant—especially when you're feeling intense pregnancy symptoms. Remember that intimacy doesn't always have to mean sex, and it is important not to put yourself under too much pressure to be intimate if you're not in the mood. That said, experimenting with positions, lubes, and even dirty talk can all go a long way to helping you get in the mood for enjoying pregnancy sex. Was this page helpful? Thanks for your feedback! Tell us why! Other Submit Sources Parents uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read our editorial process to learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy. An Examination of Predictors of Nonverbal and Verbal Communication of Pleasure During Sex and Sexual Satisfaction. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships. 2012.