Overheard at a barbecue:
Dad # 1: "I changed 14 diapers today. I've got a diaper callus."
Dad #2: "Dude, that's nothing. I've got three kids under three – that's 20 diapers and three Pull-ups on a good day."
Dad#3: "Add one toddler with diarrhea and a teething six-month-old and welcome to my world."
Dad #4: "Are you guys joking? Please tell me you're joking. My wife's due with our first next month."
Dads 1,2 & 3, in unison: "Duuude!"