So you’re feeling pretty smug, huh? You sowed your seed (please, spare us the details, big guy). You’ve sat through childbirth classes, surfed a couple of parenting Web sites, maybe even started taking mental notes when Marge Simpson changes Maggie’s diaper.
But you, sir, are no father. Not yet, anyway. Not until you master the real-world skills presented here — hard-earned tricks of the trade that will wow your wife, blow your friends’ minds, astonish your pediatrician and make it all look easy.