Eight weeks left to go, the baby weighing in at a suspected (and right-on-target) 4 pounds, and a combination of more-things-to-do-than-I-ever-could in the remaining time and a deeply-felt shrug of the shoulders about this fact.
The other day the girls and I went to our local farm to pick blueberries. It was a hot and humid day. Elise kept insisting that I hold her while we picked because an unfamiliar farm cat kept creeping around through the bushes. After we picked, the girls ran around looking at the chickens, rabbits, and sheep. By the time we got home, and finished baking up a blueberry tart, all I wanted to do was lie on the couch and drink iced tea. So when Julia asked me if we could eat the tart for dinner—with organic vanilla ice cream to top it off—I decided to say yes.
When I was a teenager, I spent a short stint as a runner. My best friend Holly and I would meet up halfway between our houses and set off for a run through our neighborhood. We would continue all the way down a long dirt road that eventually led us to the center of town. Along the way we passed miles of Cape Cod rhododendrons, duck ponds, and other beautiful scenery. We kept a good pace, all the while enjoying each other's company.
A Theory of Relativity
Making room for a new relationship in my life has changed my relationships to so many things. For one thing: my husband. I recently tried to express this for the first time (let's hope I didn't freak him out!) and it came out something like this:
Before, Aaron was the partner with whom I was building a home, a future. But very soon after I got pregnant, as though we had taken some new, deeper vow than we did when we got married in 2006, our relationship, our family, became my home and future.
I think I've had a New Age experience. This is not something I've been seeking. I've been seeking to meet my freelance deadlines, figure out why the couch we ordered hasn't been delivered, and somehow overlook the feeling that every part of me is becoming exponentially larger by the day. But today, I went back to the Y for my second prenatal yoga class, so I guess part of me is questing for some sort of lightness. I was at least hoping to regain the ability to put on socks without grunting, if not to achieve full-on yogic enlightenment.