No Holds Barred!
Here are some additional gripes, revelations and guilty admissions posted at truemomconfessions.com:

“I wish I was nauseous like I was during pregnancy. That way I could lose weight because I would barely want to eat. But I’m so stressed out with the baby that I eat everything in sight.”

“How am I supposed to be OK with going back to work full time when the only time I see my daughter is for her 4 a.m. and 7 p.m. feedings? This is killing me.”

“I hate myself for gaining so much weight during my pregnancy and then failing to lose it. Now I have a flabby stomach that hangs all over the place. I’m scared that I’ll never feel beautiful again.”

“I promised myself I wouldn’t let my son watch any TV until age 2, like the American Academy of Pediatrics guidelines say, but I haven’t followed through. My 1-year-old starts dancing when the Family Guy theme song
comes on. He is so calm and happy when he’s watching TV, and it’s so much easier for me. But I feel so guilty.”

“Sometimes, when I’ve had a really hard day, I just want to watch Oprah in peace. I put the baby in her crib and let her scream. I turn up the volume on the TV so her crying doesn’t drown out my show. I feel so guilty about this, but I just need a break.”

“My beautiful boy is the best blessing any mother could hope for, yet sometimes when he cries endlessly, I just want to hurt him or yell at him. I know I won’t follow through on these thoughts, but they won’t go away. I’m afraid that if I tell my husband,
it’ll be used against me.”

 

True Mom Confessions

Here's what experts have to say about real moms' secrets and those you might be harboring.

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"I'm supposed to be happy now that I have a baby, but I'm not."

"I think I have postpartum depression. I have not told anyone because I feel like I would be saying I am unhappy about the baby we tried so hard to get. I can't even admit it to my doctor because she helped me so much through our infertility."

Expert Advice: "OB-GYNs are very familiar with postpartum depression, so I can't imagine your doctor judging you," says Jeanne S. Collins, Psy.D., clinical program director of the Women's Unit at Friends Hospital in Philadelphia. Your difficulty in talking to your doctor may be related to postpartum depression, because feelings of shame, guilt and worthlessness are often symptoms of this condition. Other symptoms: persistent sadness, fatigue, irritability, loneliness, emptiness, loss of appetite, mood swings, a desire to isolate yourself from others and difficulty feeling connected to your baby.
The good news: antidepressants and talk therapy can help. Let your doctor evaluate you and make sure that you don't have or develop a rare but more serious disorder called postpartum psychosis, which can cause disorientation, paranoia and thoughts of harming yourself or your baby. "I strongly suggest that you confide in your husband, a family member or a trusted friend," Collins says. "People who care about you will understand, and can give you a much-needed break from mothering."
Keep in mind that you did nothing to bring these feelings on. Hormonal and physical changes, exhaustion, a past history of depression or mood disorders, and even lifestyle stressors can all contribute to postpartum depression.

"I don't like being a stay-at-home mom."

"I have a 2-month-old, and I hate when people ask me if I like motherhood. Should I tell them that I can't stand losing sleep and being isolated all day with a person whose only form of communication is crying? Usually I just fake smile and say how wonderful it is; but the truth is, I can't wait until my baby goes to kindergarten or I go back to work."

Expert Advice: "In our society, it is unpopular to say anything negative about motherhood," says psychologist Deborah Roth Ledley, Ph.D., author of 2008's Becoming a Calm Mom: How to Manage Stress and Enjoy the First Year of Motherhood. In truth, motherhood brings on a range of emotions, from bliss to exasperation.
There's nothing wrong with feeling frustrated, sad, lonely, irritated or bored from time to time."The problem is labeling these emotions as unacceptable," Ledley says. News moms will fare better by thinking: "OK, I feel frustrated right now.Totally normal." In public, sure, we all need a pat response for acquaintances we see in the grocery store, Ledley adds, but new moms also need confidants such as a spouse, a fellow new mom or a therapist.
Being a stay-at-home mom isn't for everyone, and that's OK! "Some moms work because they have to provide for their families, while others work to keep their sanity," says familytherapist Kimberley Clayton Blaine, M.A., M.F.T., founder of thegotomom.tv and author of 2009's Mommy Confidence: 8 Easy Steps to Reclaiming Balance, Motivation and Your Inner Diva. She went back to work three months after the birth of each of her children because she was going "stir crazy."
Says Blaine, "Who are we to judge what another mother needs? A happy and confident mom breeds a happy and contented baby."

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February/March 2009