This couple couldn't agree on a baby name, which prompted the father to seek help from an advice column. His dramatic plea is over-the-top for sure...but is it totally out of left field?
Most parents-to-be discover that choosing a baby name is anything but easy. And just when you finally find "the one"—the name that sounds perfect, compliments your last name beautifully and has a strong personal meaning—you find that your partner hates your pick, or vice versa. Admit it: You've had at least an argument or two over this issue.
But has baby name drama ever caused you to rethink your relationship? Consider this story: A dad-to-be recently wrote in to Slate's Dear Prudence advice column after he and his wife sparred over their clashing baby name picks...and according to his query, their inability to agree has him "questioning" their relationship. Yikes!
"I spent a ton of time on this and even put together a presentation with each name and the reasons I liked them. I chose some important family names and some special names from literature and the arts—all of which I think would be beautiful. My wife showed up with a few names scribbled on the back of a grocery list as if she hardly even cared! Also her ideas were trashy misspelled names like Lauryn and Bethonie and 18th-century presidents’ names like Madison, Taylor, and Polk. I was so disappointed in my wife for not taking this seriously, as I feel it is very important. Honestly, this episode has me questioning the foundation of our relationship, let alone raising a child together," the dad-to-be wrote.
Whoa! Now, from our perspective, a presention seems maybe a little over-the-top. And the expectant dad didn't get the kind of reaction he had maybe hoped for, because the response to his question pointed out that his wife wasn't exactly destroying the foundation of their relationship by not putting quite as much effort into the baby name selection process. (We're thinking she was probably a little busy with, you know, carrying the baby?)
Slate's advice columnist reinforced the idea that this isn't quite grounds for divorce, writing: "...The fact that your wife didn’t write an essay for each of her ideas is not an indication that she’s going to make a lousy parent or that she’s less excited than you about having a child. For my own well-being, I’ll assume you were joking or exaggerating about having contemplated, even for a minute, ending an otherwise loving marriage because your wife thinks 'Bethonie' is a cute name."
People are commenting on how ridiculous the man's question is because, well, it is pretty out there. But it's probably not as simple as the question makes it seem. Expecting a baby is stressful, and feeling that kind of pressure can make the little things seem like big things. Our guess? This dad-to-be was probably just feeling a bit unnerved and powerless over the prospect of welcoming a baby—we can totally understand this sentiment, and the fact that a father-to-be would throw so much energy into something like name selection makes sense, too. It might just be his way of compensating for the fact that he doesn't have the chance to carry the baby.
We want to hear from you—did you and your partner ever get into ridiculous fights while you were expecting your baby? Do you, in some way, understand this man's meltdown? Tell us!