A father shared a wonderfully supportive message about his partner's postnatal struggle, and moms everywhere will relate to what he says.
Being a new mother can be incredibly isolating—you're sleep-deprived, swollen, and your body can feel foreign; it's only natural to feel like no one knows what you're going through—but a dad just posted a message in support of new moms, and reading it just might help you realize you're not alone.
Brad Kearns shared a Facebook post detailing something his wife, Sarah, struggles with every day: It takes a while for her to dress her post-baby body, and it's not because she doesn't own enough clothes. "We all know it's not about the clothes. It's about the fact that the whole post natal process sucks," Kearns wrote.
The father, who posts about parenting at DaDMuM, went on to describe how tough pregnancy and early motherhood can truly be—during pregnancy, the body is treated like a science expirement, he said, and as Kearns pointed out, it doesn't get any easier once the baby is born. Sure, those first few days are filled with visits from family and friends, but after that most new moms have to watch their partners go back to work and realize they're all alone. As if that weren't bad enough, there's tremendous pressure to look a certain way and "bounce back" right away.
"It's hard to rest, hard to eat well, hard to even leave the house for some. Then they look at Instagram and Facebook," Kearns wrote of this time. "The celebrities with a personal trainer, chef, nanny and a make up artist post a picture that goes viral of their 'post baby body.' That only took 6 weeks. From that point onwards the expectation is set."
But the father isn't buying in to these unfair expectations, and he doesn't think new moms should either. His whole post is spot-on, but the ending is an absolutely perfect reminder that losing baby weight is not the most important thing in the world, and that comparing your experience to the images you see on TV is just so senseless. "Find something that makes you feel nice," he wrote. "Clothes, candles or a new hairstyle. Nobody who loves you is going to care how long you take. What they will care about is your mental health. It's unhealthy to think 6-12 weeks is enough time to bounce back with your pre-baby body. If you're not ready, don't set the bar so high that you fail. Set your own bar."