Dad Speaks Out on Why Men Need to Open Up About Miscarriage, Too

This father's story about his partner's miscarriages will break your heart—but it will also give you a whole new understanding of how men really handle pregnancy loss.

Miscarriages are so rarely discussed despite the fact that they affect so many families. But while we're seeing more attention given to pregnancy loss, the conversation still almost always revolves around what the mother goes through—and while the physical experience is all her own, we also have to recognize that miscarriages affect partners as well.

A video released by Tommy (a group that funds research for pregnancy health issues) features a man named Al speaking out about his miscarriage, and it raises such an important point about how partners of women who suffer miscarriages deserve to share their stories too.

Al and his wife have been through four miscarriages, and shares his sage advice for getting through it. "I think for our first miscarriage, I would have benefited from somebody saying 'tell your wife how you feel.' Don't say you're fine, don't say, 'eh, I'll be all right.' You have to be honest. We went through a day or two where I was just carrying on and then I thought . . . let's just have the conversation and let's both just cry about it," Al said in the video.

He also opened up about the silent nature of miscarriages, and how no one ever really encouraged him to speak up about his experience despite the fact that it's such a common issue. "Looking back, it's staggering at how many people just completely avoided it with me," he said. "Dads have the same emotions, they have the same experience except for the physical side of miscarriage."
"There has to be a focus on both Mom and Dad for dealing and coping with miscarriage. You can go into a pub, and a quarter of the pub will have experienced miscarriage. So finding someone that has experienced it isn't hard. I think if you could have a talk about that with your mates, it'd be absolutely priceless."

This video is so worth a watch—and such a powerful reminder of the fact that miscarriages are devastating for entire families—not just the women who suffer them.