A Dad-To-Be's 4 Worst Fears

The top 4 things running through most new dad's heads.


1. "I won't have enough money."

"My wife is the big earner, and she's taking time off. I have no idea if two can survive on my salary, let alone three." — Jeff K.

Reality: Most expectant fathers overestimate the financial hit they're about to take. Sure, there are some big-ticket items—the crib, the Hummer-size stroller, the industrial-strength diaper whiz. Half these things will magically materialize courtesy of friends and family. And the rest of the stuff won't cost nearly as much as last year's outlay on bachelor parties.

A Word Of Advice: If she quits working for a while, try to avoid the feeling that she's spending your money.

2. "I'll feel left out."

"I read books about pregnancy and babies. It's the only way I can bring anything to the table—otherwise, my wife just talks to her friends and leaves me out of it." — Bruce R.

Reality: Within seconds of your baby's birth, your wife will only have eyes for the kid. At times you'll feel like the fifth wheel, deflated and stowed away in the trunk. It won't always be that way. After weeks of attending to a newborn, your wife will look to you for adult company.

A Word Of Advice: Learn how to be useful around the house. Then actually be useful.

3. "I'll lose my freedom."

"I travel on business and had a chance to go to one of the hottest parties in Vegas if I stayed over. I took the red-eye back." — James S.

Reality: Your world will be split between two types of friends: those with kids and those without. You'll quickly distance yourself from childless bachelors, and you'll be so slap-happy you just won't care.

A Word Of Advice: Those dreams you never acted on but don't want to let go of? It's put-up-or-shut-up time.

4. "I'll never have sex again."

"Throughout the whole pregnancy I obsessed endlessly about how little sex I was going to get after the baby was born." — Paul O.

Reality: Spend the celibate six weeks after the baby is born helping her feel good about herself again. With time, patience and some indulgence on your part, she will want to have sex as much as you do. It will give her a chance to feel like a woman again, not just a mother.

A Word Of Advice: Want to put her in the mood? Talk about the baby.