Trading Up

Sure, you sacrifice some things when you become a dad. But look at what you get in return.


I’m a happy guy. Two healthy kids, a third on the way — it’s as good as life gets. But it’s a different life from the one I had before. Gone are the days when my wife and I could look at the newspaper, see a review of a new movie that looked promising and just go out and see it. Now it’s a six-month process: Read review, forget about movie until it’s on video, check out running time, figure out equivalent in videos kids will watch on other TV, take movie home, watch in 10-minute increments. People tell us Eyes Wide Shut was a cold and detached movie. Armageddon is cold and detached when you watch it in 10-minute increments. Life with kids is wonderful but, as this list shows, you’ll definitely make some trade-offs when you go from man to dad.

What You Give Up What You Get

Opening day Father’s Day

Fantasizing about Fantasizing about eight exotic vacations on consecutive hours in a sun-splashed beaches darkened room

Seeing 50 different Seeing the same movies in a year movie 50 times in a year

Greeting the morning Greeting any morning on New Year’s Day with bags under your with bags under eyes and spit-up on your eyes and barf your shirt on your shirt

Looking at your Looking at your mother-in-law and mother-in-law andseeing a meddler seeing a baby sitter

Impressing your boss Depressing your by working overtime immune system by sleeping undertime

Cracking line drives Hearing your knees in summer-league crack in living-room softball games wrestling matches

Zero to 60 in 7 Baby’s first crawl seconds at 7 months Investing your money Spending your money in great growth to create growth stocks, like Disney stocks, like Disney

“Hi, honey, how was “Hi, Daddy! Let’s play!” your day?”

Receiving compliments Hoping no one notices

on your stylish the dried formula on wardrobe your sport coat

Dinner for two at a Play date for 12 at romantic bistro Chuck E. Cheese’s Must-See TV “I love you, you love me … ”

Spending Christmas Seeing Christmas on the slopes through your child’s eyes