Hey new mom, here's a pop quiz: after you gave birth to that babe of yours, did you spend more time attempting to not freak out over your gorgeous (and um, crying, pooping, super-tiny) newborn or putting on lingerie for your hubby?
If you're anything like most moms we know, ya likely paid more attention to your baby and getting into the swing of parenting than on making sure you and your husband did the deed. But according to a new study in Springer's journal Human Nature, not all cultures wait those recommended six weeks before getting it on post-birth.
The study's author, Michelle Escasa-Dorne from the University of Colorado studied societies in the Philippines where couples reported low divorce rate. According to participants, new mothers spent more time having sex with their partner than they did before they got pregnant. (Yep, you read that right!) She interviewed 260 women between 18-35 in Manila (the capital of the Philippines), and of these, 155 of them breastfed their babies. Apparently, the women who were breastfeeding and whose menstrual cycles resumed, their sexual activity skyrocketed too. She equates this with a strategy to keep their marriages strong, so future children can be reared.
Following this logic, if you breastfeed, you're going to have more sex with your husband. But this doesn't necessarily mean the woman's doing the asking. "Even though a breastfeeding woman may not be sexually proactive, she may respond favorably when her partner initiates sexual activity," Escasa-Dorne explains.
While it's a nice thought to think that breastfeeding can actually increase our sex drives, what most moms remember about those first weeks with their new babies is being constantly exhausted, trying to figure out how to get baby to latch, breast tenderness, and lots of changes in their bodies, hormones and moods. We're tired even thinking about it, honestly.
Sex after baby is a whole new experience—it's scary (what if you can't be a rockstar anymore?!), confusing (it really will go back to how it was? Promise?) and can be messy. Having a baby is no joke, and while we applaud those ladies who are ready to hop back in the sack right away, we think it's totally cool (and normal!) to take your time. We bet that sex drive will come back and surprise you—ya know, in between the eighth diaper change of the day and before you totally pass out from those two hours of sleep you got last night. Quickies for the win!