Grab some tissues for this one: It'll give you all the feels.
It's not every day that you hear a man share raw emotion about the heartbreak of infertility. But Dan Majesky took to Facebook recently with an epic (and now viral!) post written with wit, wisdom and soul about his struggle to start a family with his wife, Leah.
"Do you have a minute?" he begins. "I've got kind of a long story. Leah and I have been trying to get pregnant for over three years. I'm not sure when, exactly, we stopped the birth control. Like all our plans, we didn't start with a plan, but instead decided that if we got pregnant, that would be great. And then we didn't get pregnant."
At first, the couple wasn't all that worried. "We're in our 30s," Majesky writes. "Things are probably a little bit dusty, and a little bit rusty. So, three years ago, we started using apps and calendars to track this and that. Ovulation test sticks. Old wives' tales of positions and timing. We got some late periods. And some periods that never came! But we didn't get pregnant."
Next came the doctor visits. And some hormone therapy for Leah. "The doctor told us that certain hormone levels were low, lower than they should have been, and that meant our egg supply was dwindling," Majesky explains. "There is nothing you can tell a woman that will make her feel more young, beautiful and vibrant than, 'You have a dwindling egg supply, and it's time to pick up the pace.' You should try it. Maybe at a bar."
Majesky's sense of humor was obviously still intact. But as the couple headed down the road of intrauterine insemination (IUI), the hormone treatments began to take a toll. "[Leah's] job was to feel like her brain and soul were on fire," Majesky recalls. "My job was to try and not say anything dumb, because she also needed to be calm. I tried to avoid triggering phrases like 'Hey,' or 'Good morning,' or 'I love you,' but I kept f*cking up. The best was when someone would ask her when we were going to have kids. That was just the best."
After the IUI, the real torture began. "So you wait," Majesky explains. "And you wait. And you wait. And sometimes her period comes, and you start over. Step one. And sometimes it doesn't come. So you wait. And it's negative, but you hope, and you see your friends getting pregnant, and you get a little sad. But you get mad at yourself because you want to feel happy for other people, and that's not fair to them. And then the 17-year-old across the street gets pregnant, and you get a little sadder. And your cousins get pregnant, and you get a little sadder. And you see people scream at their kids, and beat them in Kroger, and you just want to die because you would give anything to have a child throwing a tantrum in the cereal aisle."
"You don't want to hate people," he continues. "You don't. I think babies are beautiful. I think kids are awesome, but you can't help the jealousy. The envy. The resentment. It really creeps up on you. And you search for positive things."
In time, the couple got their wish. While Dan was off on a road trip with friends, Leah did another IUI with a frozen deposit and found out she was pregnant.
"Everything looked great and we were on track," Majesky writes. "So when we went in for one final scan before being released to our obstetrician, we were all smiles and jokes." Sadly, the mood changed instantly when the couple was told there was no heartbeat. "I've felt time stop before," Majesky says. "Car accidents, falling off a fence, a mountain bike jump gone wrong. I have not felt the vertigo of infinity like when we were told our baby was dead."
Majesky goes on to poignantly describe the immeasurable grief he and Leah felt. And about how through all the sadness and hardship of miscarriage, the pair continued to try—until one day, a pregnancy test returned a faint line.
"I googled 'pregnancy test faint line,'" Majesky recalls. "As it turns out, even the faintest f*cking line in the whole f*cking world means you're pregnant. So we're pregnant. We're pregnant. Not that we believed it at first, but we are. Three scans later, I've even heard the heartbeat, like a hummingbird, and it's beautiful."
He also revealed that Leah is due in November—and it's a girl! "Not that gender matters! But we're going to have a little girl!" Majesky writes. "And I am stoked. We are stoked. We are pregnant."
What an incredible journey with the happiest of endings. Endless congratulations to Leah and Dan on their little miracle (pictured below!).