Pregnancy can feel like open season for irritating personal questions about your pregnant body. Take on tough questions like a boss with these killer comebacks.
When my husband and I started telling friends and family we were having a baby, we expected to field some curious questions. There's something about pregnancy that just invites public intrusion. Still, we didn't anticipate some of the more prying queries right off the bat. Here are the top seven questions that have caught us off guard with some great comebacks to remember next time your bff gives you those prying eyes.
They Say: Did it happen right away?
You Say: I didn't know the intimate details of our sex life were up for shared discussion!
Friends and family desperately want to know how long we've been trying to get pregnant. Asking when exactly we "pulled the goalie" and then how many rounds in the sack it took for us to conceive feels way too forward.
They Say: Did you do anything to physically prepare for pregnancy, or did it just happen?
You Say: Does that matter? I'm healthy and I got pregnant!
This one struck me as judgmental. Of course I was taking a prenatal vitamin and cut back on caffeine and hot yoga, but I may have eaten some non-organic chicken once or twice. Prepping for pregnancy isn't like training for an Iron Man, though obviously I cleaned up my act a little.
They Say: What changes have you noticed in your body?
You Say: Um, lots? I have a human being growing inside me. My body's supposed to change!
This one felt like it was addressing an elephant in the room: I've gained weight. Already. So there you have it.
They Say: Will you let yourself drink a glass of wine every now and then?
You Say: Why, do you need a drinking buddy?
To be honest, alcohol is the last thing in the world I want right now. And so it should be, with more and more research pointing to the fact that drinking while pregnant is never safe. Maybe I'll feel a pang of longing come Cinco de Mayo, when everyone is guzzling margaritas and I'm sitting on the sidelines with a soda, but, for now, I have no desire to drink whatsoever.
They Say: Are you still going to highlight your hair?
You Say: My OB has given me the green-light to highlight from my second trimester so everyone can relax. I will be beach blonde again in two weeks.
My roots must be really bad because this has been asked by at least three different women!
They Say: Have you picked out a baby name?
You Say: Priorities, people! (And I wouldn't tell you even if I knew.)
I haven't even settled on my delivery doc or midwife yet. What to name the baby is the furthest thing from my mind right now. And when my husband and I do come up with a list of names, it's going in a lockbox. We don't need any third opinions or unsolicited advice.
They Say: You know you're going to gain a ton of weight, right?
You Say: No, I actually hadn't been aware. I thought being pregnant would be like going on the South Beach Diet!
I know the underlying message is that I shouldn't feel guilty for putting on pounds, but it's just not what I need to hear right now. I don't typically feel bad for eating when I'm hungry, and especially not when I'm feeding a growing baby!